The Best Way To Meet Women
Sometimes it can seem as though meeting women is one of the most difficult tasks you can face. Sure, there are loads of women around, but it’s not easy to meet someone without risking coming off as incredibly creepy as you do it. Plus, the usual pickup spot of the bar is not always the greatest choice if you potentially want a relationship. It’s impossible to work out if you have anything in common with the woman you meet and you’re unlikely to make the best first impression after a few drinks.
Everyone says that there’s plenty of fish in the sea – and that may be true – but half of the battle is finding the right one for you. What you need is a guide to help you understand the best way to meet women and that’s exactly what you’ll get today!
What Most Men Do Wrong
The biggest mistake you can make when it comes to trying to meet women is actively going to places just to meet women – not because you enjoy it. So many men head to the bar or to the gym because they know that women will be there – but this is counter productive. If you find a night at the bar boring or you can’t stand exercise then three things may happen. First, you’re going to have an absolutely terrible time when you could be doing something you enjoy. Second, you may end up looking creepy and scaring potential women off by hitting on them non-stop if that’s all you’re there for. Third, you are unlikely to have anything in common with the women that you do meet – so a long term relationship is unlikely to work.
So when it comes to the best way to meet women, you need to change your mindset. You can meet women pretty much everywhere – what you need is to look at how you can meet a woman who is right for you. The best way to do that is to women doing the things you enjoy. This is important if you do want a potential long term relationship because then you know that they enjoy the same things that you do and you’re more likely to be compatible. But most importantly, this makes you a much more interesting person. If your entire life is spent trying to pick up women, what conversations will you have with the women you meet? If you’re doing all of these fun activities, with the added benefit that you might meet women then you’re more likely to come across as a cool guy when you do meet someone.
The second thing most men do wrong is that they spend the entire time that they are out checking women out and attempting to awkwardly pick them up (or not doing anything at all). It is important that you don’t become one of “those guys.” If you catch an attractive woman’s eye then give them a smile and strike up a conversation when there is an opportunity to do so. Don’t just immediately suggest going for coffee or nervously shy away from them. And certainly don’t go and talk to them if they are engrossed in a book or in the middle of a tough workout. But a quick “hi” at an appropriate time could certainly be a good start.
What You Can Do Right
When you are looking to meet women then you need to know what it is exactly what you are looking for. If you want something completely casual then, realistically, something like Tinder is probably your best bet. You don’t want to give the wrong impression and end up hurting someone. By the same token, you don’t want to go looking for love in a place where the average length of a relationship can be measured in minutes. This is one of the biggest reasons people end up getting hurt when they look for someone new. If you don’t know what you want then you may be looking for women in the completely wrong places.
Even if you love going down to the bar, it still isn’t the best place to meet someone for a potential long term relationship. However, it doesn’t mean you should avoid going altogether if it’s somewhere that you enjoy spending your time. Heading to the bar can still give you the opportunity to flirt and always an outside chance that you might meet someone who wants the same thing you do. But most importantly you keep doing something which you enjoy and this will give you something to talk about when you do meet women. No-one wants to go out on a date with someone who doesn’t have a life of their own and they definitely won’t want a relationship with them!
You also want to think about what kind of woman you want to meet. I don’t mean this at an entirely superficial level – but what would you value in a potential partner. Do you want to meet someone younger than you, the same age or do you prefer someone older? Do you want someone adventurous or someone whose idea of excitement is ordering a takeaway on a Saturday night? Maybe sense of humor is important to you or maybe you are looking for someone with a lot of stability who can add that quality to your life. Either way, if you are looking for a potential partner then all of these are very important questions to ask yourself so that you make sure she is the right person. There’s no point starting a relationship with a super attractive woman if she turns out to have none of the qualities that you value in a partner.
Where To Go?
As we discussed earlier, you don’t want to go somewhere “just” to meet women but there are quite a few places worth going to depending on what it is you enjoy. The reason to go to these places is because they will give you the fun kind of experiences that enhance your life and also make you seem more attractive to the women that you meet.
If you love music then heading to a concert is a great way to meet women because there are undoubtedly going to be a lot of women there. An added bonus is that you already know you have one thing in common – the band you’re going to see. You’ll have a chance to talk to women before the show starts and when you’re grabbing something to drink. As long as you don’t start off by trying to grind on them on the dance floor, it should be very easy to get chatting to someone.
If you have a dog then taking them walking to a local dog park is a great idea. Everyone loves their pets and if you both have that in common then you have a very easy conversation starter. Plus, your dog needs a walk – you may as well make the most of that by using the time to find that perfect partner. Although a quick note, this really won’t work if you don’t have a dog – and putting a cat on a lead isn’t a good substitute!
If you love heading to the bar then there are still a couple of settings which still work to help you meet a new partner. One of these is trivia night, which is a great place to meet women because it is a fun, safe environment where people aren’t generally out to pick someone up. You can also have a lot of fun by inviting women at the bar to join your team or by starting up a little bit of a rivalry with a nearby team of women. Maybe put a little wager on the game by suggesting that the team who gets the least points buys a round of drinks at the end. By making it fun, there’s a good chance that you can get talking to a woman in the bar but in a very different setting than the usual bar situation.
If you do like to work out then the best way to meet women is certainly to spend a lot of time at the gym. Firstly, you enjoy it. Secondly, it’s good for your health. And thirdly, there will always be a lot of women at the gym! As we mentioned earlier, timing is important here – don’t try and chat her up while she’s working up a sweat on the treadmill. But there are great opportunities to chat to women after a work out or on the way into the gym. If you enjoy aerobic-style workouts then taking part in gym classes is a great idea. Don’t think that all gym classes are like yoga or Pilates, there are many very intense workouts like those put together by Les Mills. Women love gym classes, which means that you will have a lot of good opportunities to talk to them before or after the workout.
If you really care about a cause then volunteering to help is something you should definitely do. For a start, it’s something you probably want to do anyway if it is a cause that you care about. It is also something that will boost your standing in the eyes of the people you meet in general because it is something few people do. It is also a great place to meet women who have the same values as you do. Neither of you would be volunteering if you didn’t care about the cause in the first place and she’ll certainly think you’re an amazing guy if you’re taking the time to support the cause.
If you love to read then spending your time in a book store is certainly something you probably do anyway. It is also a great place to meet women, especially if the store has a built-in coffee shop. The good thing about meeting women in a book store is that you can get a bit of an idea of whether you have interests in common. Especially niche interests. Whether it’s fantasy books, politics, the arts, or many other subjects – there is always a section in the book store for it. If you spot a cute woman browsing the same section as you, you know you have something in common with her. Asking her opinion on a couple of book choices is a great way to open up a conversation here too.
If you have spent most of your life trying to meet women in bars then making this change might not be easy for you. Especially as most of the time you will have been going out for no other reason than to pick someone up. Making this change is likely to be pretty difficult because it is a change to the way you have usually met women and how you have usually approached meeting women. There is a two step change that you need to make so that you can be successful in following the best way to meet women.
The first change you have to make is not to make the decisions on where to go based on meeting women but based on enjoying the experience. The fact cute women may be there needs to be an added bonus! This is important, because you don’t want to be frantically trying to pick someone up before you leave so that you don’t feel like you’ve failed. If you’re looking for a potential relationship then meeting a quality partner for you is much more important than just meeting anyone.
The second change you need to make is in how you decide to approach women. The best way to meet women is not to go steaming in asking them on a date – and it’s also not to shy away from any conversation. It is to be charming, charismatic, and open to a conversation. If you catch her eye, smile and hold her eye contact for a while before you look away. If you’re close enough and the time is right, make sure you say “hi!” A conversation should easily follow if you are following what I’ve said so far and going to places you enjoy – not just places women go. The vibe you want to give is “the cute guy at” wherever you are and not “the creepy guy who always hits on me.” By opening up a conversation about your shared interest you can move on to a bit of flirting and who knows where that could lead.