How Do You Define ‘Seeing Someone’?

Tyler Peters

I am aware that the early stages can be viewed as ‘seeing’. But what does that actually entail?

I said, “Let’s take it slow.”

She said, “That’s fine with me, I won’t pull anyone else.”

I said, “OK.”

She said, “So where’s this going?”

I said, “In the right direction?”

I’ve been dating this girl for a couple of months now. We meet up once, twice, maybe three times a week and there have been occasions where we’ve stretched to a fourth. Sleepovers — you know? Whilst it has been pretty intense, I’m not complaining. It has been going well. Really well, in fact. She’s into me, and I her; however, it has got me thinking. What are we?

While my actual ‘relationship’ experience is limited (this is perhaps an absolute understatement) — counts number of relationships on two fingers, maybe one — I am aware that the early stages can be viewed as ‘seeing’. But what does that actually entail? What are the guidelines around this level of dating, the do’s and don’ts?

Consulting the internet, I Googled: “what does seeing someone mean?” which of course, yielded a great deal of results but largely, it appeared to be a stage seen as a little-to-no-commitment phase where you effectively test the metaphorical water by ‘seeing’ where it goes. Which makes sense, though a number of forums debated different perspectives that mostly revolved around the beliefs that you can sleep around without fear of being a cheater while others stated that this meant you were taking the time to get to know another person with the aim to develop into a relationship which clearly meant promiscuity was told to shut the front door on its way out.

Seeking more detail I took to another reliable source, Twitter. Asking for people’s opinion as to what the guidelines are around this basic-labelling, one response claimed that while seeing another person, you cannot (or should not) continue browsing online profiles and chatting to other potentials since emotional/lustful confusions often ensue. Fair point: online browsing of further lady-friend options had to be culled. I deactivated my POF, OK Cupid and Tinder accounts respectively.